Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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