They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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