i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
