I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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