This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
