she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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