There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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