Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
