We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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