wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
