I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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