Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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