wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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