Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
