Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize