Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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