i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
