Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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