So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
