I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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