I think I died a long time ago.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
