She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
