She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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