You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
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What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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