I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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