My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
