I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Another day, another engagement, another cat
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
