she kept yelling 'call me bella'
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
