she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
