That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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