Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
