Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
