It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
