its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
