he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
