i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize