DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
