she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You made out with two different species that night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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