I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
