Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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