dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
