i just google imaged poop.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize