he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
