I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
