I wish I only lived at night.
I am spending my child support on dildos
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
