high people should be assigned attendants
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
