Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I understand Curling. That high.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
