I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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