do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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