just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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