i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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