guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
