i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
