no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
