help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
