Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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