oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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