Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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