Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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