so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
